I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize