So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize