How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
