Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
