i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
