Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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