I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
