Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
