Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
did i just pee glitter
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
