Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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