I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
