I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
