If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
