I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
