I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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