I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
