So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Randomize
