after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
there is puke in my bra ... again
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