I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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