Don't you send me to vm
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Randomize
