It's like God shit irony all over that family
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
