I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
