True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm really busy with my period
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