Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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