The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Randomize
