i don't like sucking hair
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
