thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
