TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
