you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
And then he peed in my hair
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
