Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
