be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
