im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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