You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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