halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize
