yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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