its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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