the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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