just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
