Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
