i wish peter jackson would direct porn
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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