It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
