So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
