Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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