his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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