Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
