Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
