Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
