carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Randomize