I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
