I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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