My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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