can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
