you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
