He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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