He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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